Conor Watkins' Ozark Mountain Experience
Article 71
Trouble On the River?
By Conor Watkins

Trouble On The River?
-The popularity of the Meramec River brings about new issues 25 years after the Meramec Dam was defeated

On a weekend in early August, I was invited to participate in a float trip on the Meramec River near Onondaga Cave State Park by a group of three others from St. Louis.  This trip took place on August 2, 2003, only six days before the 25th anniversary of the Aug 8, 1978 vote defeating the Meramec Basin Project, a project that intended to dam the Meramec River and several tributaries.  A ten mile portion of the river was floated from an access known as “The Bluffs” to just below the Hwy H Bridge near Onondaga Cave State Park.  Had the Meramec Dam had been constructed, this section of river would now be part of a lake with about 40% the surface area of Lake of the Ozarks.

The trip was taken though Ozark Outdoors Riverfront Resort (formerly Keyes Canoe Rental), which is located just south of the Meramec River from Onondaga Cave State Park.  Upon pulling into the resort parking lot, it was noticed that the resort was crowded with people and cars.  The parking lot was extensive and the main office was being remodeled to resemble a large outdoor lodge.  A large campground also surrounded the site although cabins and country cooked food were also available for those less prepared.

This resort obviously caters to crowds visiting the river from St. Louis.  The Meramec is one of the closest Ozark rivers to the city and is thus one of the most heavily floated, especially on the weekends, and this Saturday was no different.  The brochure at the site also stated that the resort could handle as many as a thousand campers and floaters per day.

The trip involved a shuttle upstream, which allowed us to float back to the resort at our own pace.  We were notified that slow floaters would receive a late charge of $25 if they were not back to the resort by dark.  Canoes were also $40, which seemed somewhat pricey and upgraded Old Town canoes cost and extra $5 to rent.  We were briefed on the fact that the Missouri Water Patrol would be policing the river just before taking off in a fully loaded retired school bus.  This is something one doesn’t hear when floating the less traveled rivers in the state.  The water patrol must make quite a haul on busy weekends, as local attorneys in Steelville has placed a billboard visible from the eastbound lanes just east of the Leasburg exit with the message “Trouble on the river?” on the south side of I-44.  It seems they provide legal services to those “busted” on the river.

Trouble On The River?
This local attorney has catered to those "busted" on the river,
possibly for enjoying too much beer and liquor from the business
on the lower billboard!

Once at the bluffs access, it was noticed that getting floaters into the water was an assembly line process.  Coolers and other gear were unloaded from the bus and handed out to the floaters.  For some reason, it was made quite clear that we were not to unload our own gear as though we might hurt ourselves and sue the outfitter.  Once all gear had been collected, we waited for canoes to be made ready.  All of us wanted longer paddles, as they allow one to produce more power when digging into the water, especially where it is deep.  A pile of paddles was present at the put-in point so I started searching for the longest paddles in the collection.  I was promptly yelled at by an employee of the operation who stated that paddles would be placed in the canoe and that customers were not to get their own.  He stated that we would simply get whatever size was placed in the boat.  Once our canoes were ready, I noticed that one of the two paddles was short so Iquickly returned to the pile of paddles and exchanged the short paddle for a longer one without incident.  Based on my experience, this outfitter lacked the friendly hometown "service with a smile" attitude experienced at other outfitters throughout the Ozarks.

Once on the river, it was noticed that there were quite a few other floaters, which was not surprising based on the number of people at the resort and on the bus.  There was plenty of room to maneuver on this stretch of river and everyone seemed well behaved.  The river was equally beautiful when compared to other Ozark streams, but it was much more crowded and not nearly as peaceful.  Scenic bluffs of Gasconade dolomite containing several small caves and rock shelters were encountered during the trip and seemed to be the highlight of the float.

The first stretch of the river was busy but not overly crowded.

The author (front) enjoys the first and more laid back part of the trip.

Scenic overhanging bluffs are located just downstream
from "The Bluffs" access, hence the name.

A small cave was discovered on the right bank
around halfway through the trip.

Drunks with stereos were soon encountered.  The first raft contained a boom box and was playing disco at a loud volume.  There were not nearly as many of this sort near the start of the trip but it seemed that every other canoe or raft had a stereo as the float progressed.  Many from the city couldn’t leave civilization and its technological forms of stimulation behind.  This was tolerable until the float passed the confluence of the Huzzah River/Creek.

Within the first mile of the trip, two in a canoe were overheard discussing the activities of the water patrol.  The two talked about how those smoking marijuana would be arrested by agents with guns and bullet-proof vests and how they had better watch out.  Although no altercations were experienced during the trip, it seemed that a less savory crowd was floating the river.

Once the Huzzah flowed into the Meramec, traffic on the river tripled.  The Courtois Creek flows into the Huzzah not far upstream from the Meramec.  All three streams carry a fair number of floaters who all share the same stream once they enter the Meramec.  Canoe and raft traffic was literally bumper to bumper and resembled rush hour on I-270 in St. Louis.  A large and very loud stereo system was soon encountered.  This stereo appeared to have been custom built out of wood and was painted to look like a gigantic Rubik’s Cube.  It took up an entire raft of its own and was powered by a large array of lead-acid batteries.  The creation providing the latest in rock music to all those on the river, whether they wanted to hear it or not.  The scene resembled a college spring break party at Panama City Beach, FL or some other similar location.  Other similar stereo creations were observed, but none were quite as large and fit into their own inner tubes.

The Meramec was bumper to bumper like rush hour on a highway in St. Louis
after the Huzzah added its ample supply of floaters.

Although many on the river were obviously enjoying copious amounts of beer, they were obviously not following the message portrayed in the latest Busch Beer commercials.  These ads play Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Simple Man” and talk about experiencing the great outdoors while leaving the stresses, technology, and complexities of modern society behind.

A unique style of mudslide was observed along the river.  At first, it appeared that a guy was tangled upside down in some roots and vines on a mud bank 15 feet or so above the river.  It soon became obvious what his intention was once the fellow slid down the mud bank on his chest, headfirst.  He popped out of the river appearing unharmed but very covered with mud.

After the trip, three of the original group of four decided to head to Onondaga Cave State Park, which is just north of the river from Ozark Outdoors.  A bumper sticker with the message “If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?” was noticed on the back of a tan Mercury Cougar in the park's parking lot.  Although tourists cannot be hunted during the summer season, this seemed to be quite appropriate given the situation just experienced on the river.  Those seeking a more relaxing weekend float should definitely seek a location farther from the city or visit the Meramec on a weekday, when the traffic is only a tiny fraction of that on a busy Saturday.  Those floating the Meramec during off-peak days will experience a float just as peaceful as one on any other Ozark river.

The message on this sticker seemed appropriate after the noisy, obnoxious crowds
experienced on the river.  I have a feeling that buying hunting tags and permits to
thin out the population is not possible!
Additional Picture

After seeing the river on this trip, one realizes that all the floaters are both a blessing and a curse.  If it wasn’t for all the people enjoying the river, this stretch would likely be buried under a lake created by a dam on the Meramec within present day Meramec State Park.  On the other hand, those who enjoy peace and quiet will not find it here on summer weekends.  Those who stated that canoeists on the Meramec were only a small minority during the fight over whether or not to build the dam have to realize how many thousands enjoy the Meramec River on any given summer weekend today, bringing thousands of dollars to the local economy..

The hordes of people seen today began floating the Meramec during and after the fight over the dam project, as residents of St. Louis and other nearby areas came to see what all the fuss was about.  Although people had floated canoes on the Meramec River ever since the durable aluminum canoe came about around World War II, the pastime became much more common and floaters soon jammed the river on summer weekends.  Canoe and camping outfitters also began to appear at the same time.  This occurrence continues to this day and shows no signs of letting up.  Many canoeists who enjoyed this inexpensive form of recreation cast votes against the Meramec Basin Project on election day.

The problems experienced during this float trip are not isolated to the Meramec.  Recent articles in local newspapers have highlighted enforcement efforts by the Missouri Water Patrol on the Black, Niangua, Current, and other rivers throughout the Ozarks.  Part of the problem seems to be that many believe that there are no rules once they are away from populated areas.  Some believe that laws simply do not apply in the wilderness and that fighting, harassment, rioting, drugs, indecency, poaching, and other offences go unobserved by the law.  Agents from the Missouri Water Patrol routinely check the more popular rivers and illegal activities do not necessarily go unnoticed, although too many likely slip by.  Agents often observe those on the rivers while hiding along the shorelines or masquerading as locals.  Underage drinkers should also be aware as IDs are checked.  Again, a different day or river should be for for those who don't wish to have to deal with these concens.  Although the Current and Jack's Fork Rivers are popular, much of these rivers are part of the Ozark National Scenic Riverways, a National Park.  The National Park Service has limited canoe outfitters to the number of canoes they may put on the river at any one time so crowding isn't near as much of a concern on these rivers.

Problems have also occurred between canoeists and power boaters.  Some power boaters resent the river being clogged with canoes and the boats have been known to intentionally collide with canoes and inner tubes, sometimes causing injuries.

For more information on this particular float and outfitter, a comprehensive website is provided at http://www.ozarkoutdoors.net.  To get to this location, take I-44 east from Rolla to the Leasburg Exit (exit 214).  Follow Hwy H south through Onondaga Cave State Park and turn left almost immediately after crossing the Meramec River.